


Colors

by olgushka



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Coloring, Coping Mechanisms, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-08
Updated: 2016-12-08
Packaged: 2018-09-07 08:42:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8791057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olgushka/pseuds/olgushka
Summary: Tyler keeps finding crayons everywhere.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when I spend 3 days in a row coloring _Enchanted Forest_.

When Tyler found a crayon in their dressing room for the first time, he was slightly confused. He picked it up from the carpet with a frown but then he suddenly remembered that one of their crew member’s kid was visiting them on tour. He left the green crayon on the table and quickly forgot about it.

The second time, he noticed a yellow crayon in the hotel room he shared with Josh. He found it on the floor, close to Josh’s bed.

„What the...” He mumbled under his breath, picked it up and rotated the colorful stick in his fingers. Eventually, he threw it into the trash can. He was too exhausted to wonder about one stupid crayon.

But it hasn’t stopped happening. Tyler kept finding crayons in random places: their dressing rooms, hotel rooms and the tour bus. 

 

„This is freaking ridiculous!” He yelled when he stepped on a blue crayon in the back studio of their bus.

„What is?” Mark asked, looking up from his laptop.

„This!” Tyler picked up the crayon and presented it to Mark. „I keep finding those everywhere. Do we have a kid here? Max’s daughter left two weeks ago but I still see crayons _everywhere_ I turn!”

„Chill out, man. It’s just a crayon.”

„But why is it even here?” The singer threw his hands in the air in frustration.

„What is where?” Josh asked, coming through the door. He put his drumsticks down and looked at Tyler.

„Stupid crayons! Everywhere I look!”

„Oh.” The drummer gulped, straightening his back. He took two steps back and turned to the door. „I forgot I have to be… somewhere.” He said and quickly left the room before Tyler could say anything else.

Surprisingly, the back studio was the last place where Tyler found any crayons. Sometimes he caught himself staring at the floor, searching for any trace of colorful sticks but has never found anything. He noticed something different though: his best friend's shifty behaviour - keeping the curtain to his bunk closed all the time, making sure that his suitcase was always carefully zipped up. 

 

Tyler could feel his curiosity growing more and more every day. Ha had his suspicions but didn't want to approach the drummer without having any proof.

He _needed_ a proof. So one day when Josh was out, having his usual skateboarding session around the parking lot behind the venue, Tyler found himself rummaging through the drummer's bunk. He lifted the pillow and stopped dead in his tracks: there was a thick coloring book hidden under the sheets and a box of Crayola crayons right next to it. He looked around, afraid of being caught but when he didn’t hear any footsteps or voices, he reached out and picked up the book. He flipped through the pages of beautiful, abstract nature-inspired illustrations and detailed patterns full of leaves, petals, trees and flowers. He noticed that random pages were already done and they were blooming with bright colors.

Tyler smirked and put the book back under the pillow, trying to make it look exactly like Josh left it. He closed the curtain and whistling like nothing ever happened, he left the bus.

 

As much as he wanted to catch Josh red-handed, luck wasn't on his side. He wanted so bad to walk in on the drummer and laugh in his face but Josh was too good at hiding and pretending. Tyler needed a different approach but first he had to check if Josh kept coloring.

When no one was inside the bus, he took his chance. He sneaked into the bunk area, drew Josh’s curtain open and threw the pillows and blankets aside but the only thing he found was an empty space. He frowned. He put his hand under the mattress, feeling around for the book but found nothing. 

„Looking for something?” Josh’s voice echoed in the quiet room, startling Tyler and making his breath hitch in his throat.

„No.” The singer turned around and wiped his sweaty hands on the back of his thighs. „No. I was just… You know.”

„No, I don’t know.”

„Uhm... I was looking for that magazine with the _Blurryface_ review? I just wanted to read it. Thought that maybe you had it here." Tyler said, awkwardly scratching the back of his neck. „Anyway... I’ll ask Mark where it is. See you later, yeah?” He gave Josh a friendly pat on the back and ran outside before Josh could ask any more questions.

He was desperate and he didn’t know why. Maybe because his best friend was hiding something from him and he wasn’t used to it.

 

Finally, a perfect opportunity happened two weeks later. They were supposed to play the second show in the same venue so they didn’t have much to do until evening, especially because the stage was ready and they did a brief soundcheck in the morning. They were too tired for sightseeing so they decided to stay inside and relax. Someone ordered a few boxes of pizza for lunch and the whole crew ended up sitting on the green room floor, eating, playing cards and laughing at Mark's silly jokes.

After two rounds of playing Spoons - both won by Brad, someone came up with the idea of playing spin the bottle/truth or dare instead. Whoever the bottle landed on, had to either complete the dare or confess the truth. There were many silly dares and shocking truths, from jumping on one leg for two minutes to revealing the most embarrasing habits.

When Michael spinned the bottle and it finally landed on Josh, he couldn’t think of anything.

„There was so many dares and so many truths that I have no idea what could you possibly do.”

„I know!” Tyler said before he could stop himself. „Can we pretend like it was me who spinned the bottle? I can wait another round off.”

„That’s against the rules.” The drummer said, eyeing him carefully .

„I don’t mind. I can’t think of anything anyway.” Michael said and allowed Tyler to do the _honors_. 

„Josh.” Tyler started and looked straight at his best friend. He could swear that he noticed a tiny bit of fear in his Josh’s eyes, like the other man has already knew what Tyler had in mind. „So, I want you to tell the truth. I want you to tell us the truth about your new hobby.”

The fear quickly turned into hurt and disappointment. 

„Sorry to break it to you but I don’t have any new hobbies.” Josh said as calmly as he could. „Drumming and skateboarding are my only hobbies.”

„Oh, really? I think that’s a lie. We don’t play lie or dare, Josh. We want the truth.”

„I've just told you the truth.”

„Alright, next.” Mark said, clearly bored as he reached for the bottle.

„No.” Tyler shook his head and snatched it from Mark’s hand. „I haven’t got my truth yet. No one is spinning until Josh tells us the truth.”

„Drop it.” The drummer said through his gritted teeth and looked at everything but Tyler.

„Jishwa, are you blushing? So there _is_ something else. Maybe it has to do something with me finding cray-”

He never finished what he wanted to say because Josh abruptly got up from the floor and pointed his finger at Tyler’s chest. 

„Screw you, Tyler! This is not your _fucking_ business!” He turned on his heel and left the room, leaving everyone speechless.

„What the hell just happened?” Ben said, breaking the silence when Josh disappeared around the corner. 

„Josh knows how to curse?” Mark raised his eyebrows. „Wait, what is this all about?”

Their eyes turned to Tyler and a sudden wave of guilt flooded the singer's body. He quickly got to his feet and ran his hand through his hair.

„I think I fucked up.” He said and quickly followed Josh. He could hear Mark yelling something after him but he didn’t stop.

 

He pushed the door to Josh's dressing room open and walked inside but he didn't find his friend. He checked the bathroom on the opposite side of the hallway but Josh was nowhere to be seen. After checking the stage and finding it empty, he finally cought up with the first random tech girl he noticed and after asking her about the drummer, she finally pointed him to the back door leading to the parking lot.

There weren’t many places Josh could be, so Tyler made his way straight to the tour bus. He immediately rushed to the bunk area and he wasn’t surprised when he found Josh lying in his bed with his head hidden under the pillow and face turned to the wall. A loud music was blasting through his earphones and Tyler recognized it as one of the Death Cab For Cutie's songs.

When he touched Josh’s arm, the other man flinched causing the pillow to fly across the bunk and the earphones fell out of his ears. He glanced over his shoulder but when he saw Tyler, he tried to put his earphones back in.

„No.” Tyler caught the wires. „None of that.”

„Go away.” Josh mumbled, curling into himself even more.

„Josh, look... I’m sorry. I just wanted to tease you a little bit. I didn’t know it’s something you wouldn’t want to talk about.” He said but Josh didn’t answer. Tyler decided to try a different approach. „Hey, where is the book and crayons?”

„Are you making fun of me right now?” Josh snapped angrily and Tyler noticed that his shoulders started to shake.

„I’m asking because I’m curious. I’m sorry if I offended you in any way, it wasn't my intention.” Tyler said. „Josh... Josh? Are you crying? Oh God! Please, don’t cry. It’s okay.” He stepped closer and started rubbing circles between Josh’s shoulder blades.

„Do you think I’m childish?” The drummer sniffled. „What do you think of me right now? That I’m a weirdo who likes to play with crayons and coloring books? I’m almost thirty, Tyler. And I spend most of my nights coloring illustrations. What does that say about me?” Josh shifted on the bed, put his legs closer to his chest and made himself look even smaller than before.

„Josh, I promise. It’s alright. I’m not here to make fun of you, it was wrong of me to even try, back there in the green room. I just want to understand why would you think that anyone would judge you for something like that.” Tyler sighed. „Can you look at me, please? I don’t really feel like talking to your back.”

Josh wiped his eyes and slowly turned around, swinging his legs off the bed. Tyler took it as a permission to sit down next to him. He watched Josh as he reached under the mattress and took out the book, unfolding it from the material of one of his t-shirts. Josh handed it to Tyler and the younger man took it without a word and started to flip the pages. There were definitely more illustrations done than the last time he had the chance to peek inside.

„Dude, we’re like… joined at the hip. When do you even find time to do this?”

„When you’re not around." Josh shrugged. „When you’re out with Jenna or when you take a shower or when you sleep...”

„This is so pretty.” Tyler traced one of the illustrations with the tip of his fingers. The page was filled with bright colors. „So, how did this start? And when? Because it looks like you’ve been doing this for a quite long time now. And I’m almost offended, you know? That you haven’t told me about it.”

„I didn’t want anyone to know.”

„Why?”

„I don’t think it would help if the guys started to tease me about it.” Josh sighed and dropped his gaze. „It’s been hectic since _Blurryface_ came out. Press, awards, sold out arenas. I needed some distraction. Locking myself in an empty room didn’t help anymore because my mind was too loud anyway. I stumbled upon those coloring books in the store a few months ago. It said they were for grown ups... I didn’t buy any of them but when I got back home I looked them up online. I found so many positive opinions about them, even the psychologists say they help. I decided to give it a try. And it does, you know? It helps. It’s almost therapeutic. It keeps me calm and quiets my mind. I try to focus only on picking colors and staying in lines. It’s like meditation.”

„Really?” Tyler’s eyes softened. „I didn’t know it’s so important to you. Can I- Can I try it?” He asked and Josh glared at him suspiciously but eventually handed Tyler a box of crayons he’s been hiding in his bag. Tyler chose red and opened a random page. „I don’t really know where to start.”

„There are no rules. Just… go with it.”

And Tyler did. The moment his crayon touched the paper, he understood. He could feel Josh's eyes on him when his hand worked on the illustration, filling it with different colors. When Josh cleared his throat, Tyler finally snapped out of his trance and looked up at the drummer.

„Sorry. Got carried away.”

„I can see that.” Josh said, smiling.

„This is really relaxing.” Tyler admitted. „You don’t have to hide, Josh. If it helps with your anxiety, why would you be ashamed of it? I’m sure the crew will understand.”

„Maybe. But I don’t want them to know, not yet. This is… my thing, you know? And it feels better when hardly anyone knows about it.”

„Alright. But don’t hide from me anymore, okay? I won’t judge you.” Tyler said. „Sometimes I wonder why you never come to me anymore. Like, you don’t talk about things that bother you anymore. Now I kinda know why but even if you have this thing-” He pointed to the book. „-I want you to come to me like you used to.” He looked at his friend and smiled. „Can I give you a hug? You look like you need it.”

„Yeah.” Josh nodded. „Yeah, okay.”

„Come here then, you silly person.” Tyler said, reaching out to Josh, pulling him close and embracing him in a bone-crushing hug. Josh put his head on Tyler’s shoulder and shifted closer to make himself comfortable. „Isn’t it better?”

„It is.” Josh mumbled against Tyler’s neck. „But please, don’t be upset when sometimes I don’t feel like doing this. There are days when human contact makes it worse.”

„I understand. I promise not to push you into anything, okay? But you need to swear on your mom’s life that you won’t be ashamed to do this coloring thing around me. Believe me, this is not the weirdest thing you’ve ever done.”

 

So Josh didn’t hide anymore, at least not when Tyler was around. Sometimes he would come to Tyler’s hotel room, sit on the floor with his coloring book and crayons and focus only on the illustrations. With time, it stopped being something unusual. Tyler has gotten used to it and stopped feeling weird about Josh’s new hobby. 

When the drummer has lost most of his crayons, Tyler bought him a 96-piece box of Crayola. Sometimes he would sit and watch his friend with a smile, sometimes he would busy himself doing his things. The silence was comfortable, the quietness of the room filled only with the sound of their own breathing and crayons dancing on the paper felt more than right. Sometimes Tyler would join Josh on the floor or at the table to help him with the illustrations. And sometimes it had nothing to do with Josh’s anxiety. Sometimes they would squeeze in each other’s bunks and play with the book for fun. 

With Tyler’s encouragement, Josh has stopped freaking out about anyone else finding out.

 

„Hey Tyler, have you seen Jo-” Mark’s head poked through the door to the singer’s dressing room and his eyes widened at the sight before him. Josh and Tyler were sitting on the couch, a big coloring book in front of them, crayons all over the table. „What-”

„Mark! Mark. Glad you’re here. We need your opinion. Do you think these flowers should be blue or purple? I can’t decide.” Tyler said like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Mark walked inside and closed the door behind him. He slowly came closer, looking around the room like he expected to find hidden cameras or someone who would jump out of the corner and yell _YOU’VE BEEN PRANKED!_ in his face.

„Blue or purple?” Tyler looked up with the serious expression on his face.

„Uhm. Purple?” Mark said, unsure. „Because the sky is blue?”

„Told you.” Josh mumbled under his breath, focused on making the leaves on the tree green.

„Hmm.” Tyler nodded. „Thanks, man.” He reached for the purple crayon and started to fill the flowers with color. 

„That’s- You’re welcome?” Mark stood frozen in his spot next to the couch, looking down at two grown-up men in front of him. „I just wanted to say that the interviewer will be here in twenty minutes?”

„Cool. We can finish this before she gets here.”

„Definitely.” The drummer agreed.

„Okay...” Mark frowned. „I’ll see you guys… later?”

„Sure.” They said at the same time, not taking their eyes off the book.

Mark started to walk backwards, keeping his eyes on them until he reached the door. He waited for a few more seconds before he opened it and left the room.

Tyler erupted into giggled first and Josh followed shortly after. 

„I give it ten minutes for the whole crew to know.” The singer said, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand.

„Nah, man. It’s Mark. I’d give it five.”

„True. Is this okay, though?” Tyler asked. „That they know now?”

Josh looked at Tyler and smiled, bumping their shoulders together.

„Honestly? I don’t really care anymore.” 

„That’s my boy!” Tyler grinned, punching the air in triumph. „Anyway. These... Red or orange?”


End file.
